I was bullied at school. Fairly relentlessly from age 11 to 15, I suffered persistent physical and verbal assault. As a victim of bullying, of being ostracised, of feeling like I was the odd one out and feeling powerless to change it, I undoubtedly developed a passion for justice.
I believe in human rights. And that these rights are universal; that there are no human beings more important than others. I believe in the infinite value of every human person. For this reason, I find myself angered and distressed by the wholesale silencing, diminishing and subjugation of half of the world’s population on the basis of such a random divider as biological sex.
The abuse of power, both individual and structural, imposing itself on another person in a way that hurts is a violence and violation that scars deeply. And yet this is the everyday experience of women and girls all over the world. This is what we need to change.
“Our system and society has perpetuated the domination of men over women and girls.”
One in three women will be beaten or sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That’s one third of the women and girls you know. And those are just the victims we know about; the assault that is physical and visible or reported. The truth, then, is far graver… that our system and society has perpetuated and still perpetuates the domination of men over women and girls, the preferencing of “masculine” over “feminine” in all walks of life.
I speak in schools all over the country about human rights, equality and diversity, misogyny and harassment. Everywhere I go, when I discuss this issue with school students, the answer is the same: sexual harassment happens all the time in our schools and it goes mostly unreported.
Ofsted’s report last year showed harassment and harmful sexual behaviours developing earlier than ever – at primary school. It’s at this age that the mindsets and norms develop that, unchecked, give rise to entrenched misogyny and abusive behaviour later in life. Addressing and exposing this issue early and consistently in schools is therefore essential.
“I remember playing ‘knicker chase’ as a child, the aim was to lift girls’ skirts to reveal their underwear.”
Male dominance and discriminatory behaviour is learned. We are all products of a male-dominated society that has left our vision obscured by the prejudices inherent in our structures and culture. The #EverydaySexism project encourages young girls and women to make a list. A list of all the times they have experienced or been subjected to sexist behaviour or unwanted sexual attention. As I was reading some of the earliest memories of some women, I started to make my own mental list… a list of the times I remember early in life engaging in what I thought was harmless fun but, I now see, was misogynistic behaviour.
Like the times I played kiss chase at school. A great game, I thought. I remember telling my parents about it. My parents are loving, respectful people but neither of them even asked whether the girls we were chasing and kissing wanted to be kissed. I remember playing “knicker chase”! The object of which was to lift girls’ skirts to reveal their underwear. We played Chase the Ace on a wet lunchtime on occasion: the consequences of having the Ace of Spades at the end was a series of physical interactions with the girls – whether or not they wanted it.
“Tied up in all of this are the pressures and stereotypes associated with masculinity.”
In Year 4 there was the girl who was more developed physically than the others: we boys took it in turns to attempt to pull open her t-shirt and get a glimpse of her chest. And then there was the girl deemed so physically unattractive that the ultimate insult we would pay to each other was that “you’ve kissed Victoria”.
Very quickly my list of early offences reveals a picture of far-from-harmless sexist, denigrating behaviour. And that without even counting all the jokes about women in the kitchen, all the “your mum” jokes, all the segregation in sports and activities whether in or out of the classroom. And I thought I was a nice, respectful little boy!
Tied up in all of this, of course, are the pressures and stereotypes associated with masculinity and what it means to be a man; which leads little boys everywhere with the sense that being a somebody means asserting your power over someone else.
I’m only just realising in my forties, just how widespread is the imbalance of power in our society; just how rife is sexual harassment and non-consensual sex; just how much I have benefited from white, male privilege without realising it; just how common it is for women and girls to suffer mistreatment, to feel fear or discomfort, to feel threatened or intimidated.
“This is a chance for whole school communities to kick start a conversation that effects real change.”
So I started the Stand Up Schools’ Human Rights Conferences as a means to make a noise about human rights issues that affect our world; to give young people a vehicle by which to engage with, learn and talk about these issues and see that they can be part of building a better future.
Hundreds of schools will tune in LIVE to the conference and hear from amazing speakers on this year’s theme of Sexism, Misogyny and Harassment. This is a chance for whole school communities to kick start a conversation that effects real change.
Find out more at www.beyondthis.co.uk/standup2
