In today’s discourse, the term “generation snowflake” has been used to describe our young people, suggesting a lack of resilience.
However, the responsibility for this might lie closer to home than we realise — it might be our own instincts as parents, guardians and educators that inadvertently hinder the development of resilience in our children.
Often, when our young people approach us seeking support or simply a listening ear, our instinct to shield them from discomfort takes over. Instead of allowing them the space to navigate their own challenges, we swoop in to rescue them. But what unfolds when we do this?
“Our instinct to shield them from discomfort takes over.”
Primarily, we rob young individuals of the opportunity to solve problems autonomously. Even if the outcome is positive, they miss the chance to experience the sense of accomplishment and self-assurance that comes from tackling issues themselves.
It’s time we reconsider our roles as heroes and become comfortable with discomfort. In our fast-paced modern lives, the desire for instant solutions prevails. Yet, it’s crucial to sit with discomfort occasionally, as this is what fortifies our resilience for life’s inevitable challenges. By constantly shielding our young people from minor discomforts, we inadvertently hinder their ability to cope with greater adversities.
So, what does this paradigm shift look like in practice?
Picture a scenario where a student confides in you about a conflict with a close friend. They express feeling hurt by something their friend said or did. Your initial inclination might be to step in, offer advice, or even mediate the situation on their behalf.
Instead of immediately intervening or providing a solution, encourage the student to think through how they might approach resolving the issue themselves. Prompt them to consider different ways to communicate their feelings to their friend or to find a resolution that feels comfortable for them.
“Out instinct to save the day is deeply ingrained in our roles as caregivers and mentors.”
Even if their chosen approach seems challenging or different from what you might suggest, allowing them the space to navigate the situation builds resilience. Each instance where they learn to manage interpersonal conflicts independently contributes significantly to their emotional growth and ability to handle future relationship challenges.
So, where does our protective instinct to “save the day” come from? It’s deeply ingrained in our roles as caregivers and mentors. As adults, we naturally want to shield children from hardships, drawing from our own experiences and wisdom. Our instincts tell us that stepping in and providing solutions is the best way to ensure their well-being.
“Quick fixes might seem more manageable than patiently guiding children through their struggles.”
In the whirlwind of our daily lives, time constraints and personal stress can also influence this instinct. Quick fixes might seem more manageable than patiently guiding children through their struggles, especially when faced with our own demanding schedules and responsibilities.
However, it’s crucial to be aware of this protective instinct. While well-intentioned, it might inadvertently hinder a child’s resilience development. Allowing them the space to face difficulties with guidance and support is essential for their emotional growth and the cultivation of resilience.
It’s time we reframe the narrative around today’s generation. Instead of labelling them as “snowflakes,” let’s look at how our actions might contribute to this perception.
This can be a challenge for all involved but it’s a philosophy we are working hard on here at Sutton Valence School.